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3 end-times yoga marketing tips from a crotchety cynic.

It's almost fall of 2021. As we wait for the trees to shed their leaves late/post pandemic, you may be wondering how to kick-start your personal yoga offering, leverage your skills in the tattered remains of the health/wellness marketplace and make a killing personally while affirming the essential unity of humanity. No easy feat, let me tell you, so get your mental compartmentalization capacities humming and let's get started.

#1 - Nobody believes in reliable sources of information anymore.

Within the yoga-world, it was always about intuition and "your truth" vs objectivity. So now more than ever in the post-truth era that precedes human global collapse, don't waste time supporting claims of the extraordinary benefits of your style of yoga, just make the bloody claims already and enjoy the inevitable trip to total chaos you'll be ride-sharing in.

#2 - Don't suggest this practice takes any degree of sacrifice.

Amplify your message of wellness and inclusivity by excluding the information that practice doesn't always make perfect, that sometimes introspection reveals that we are sometimes assholes, and that love and light must have their opposites to exist.

#3 - Use pain points to relieve pain (eventually).

It has been a well established sales tactic to find your customers "pain points", because avoidance of physical or psychological pain is a potent motivation towards purchase completion which is the ultimate goal here, leaving behind time-wasters such as transparency and compassion for the moment.

So, sometimes as wellness provides, we need to seek out where our potential client's pain exists and push on that point. This can be done easily in your advertising copy, shame is often a great motivator for those raised within Abrahamic traditions. Promises of increased anything relative to the level of that thing in your potential client's peer group is also effective. Something like "Achieve a state of non-judgement and impress your judgemental friends" works well. Don't try to be too subtle here - we don't want the thinkers as clients.

I hope these three tips work for you as I intend them to.

All the best, really.

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